Creating a static wardrobe should not take that much time, right? Well, not as long as you know your size and what brand fits you well. But then you have the problem of silhouette in the season you are shopping in. As I started my online shopping journey to build my static wardrobe, I thought, “well, I will start with my go to brand: Anthropologie. I know my size there and I have seen a jean-skirt, a tee and sweater that would work perfectly.” As I hop online, excited to get this accomplished (insert sad violin music here) they had nothing in stock in the sizes I needed. To say I was highly disappointed was an understatement, because honestly as long as I was wearing Anthro, 30 days of anything seemed less painful. I mean really it’s Anthro … how bad can it be wearing the same thing for 30 days straight? At least if someone asked, I could say “Anthro.” (Wow light bulb moment, I am really prideful and somewhat snooty about where I shop … add that to my list to confess later.)
Next I jumped over to my second choice store: J Crew. Much more classic than Anthro. And there was my struggle: this classic and I might get bored after 2 days. But voila, J Crew had all the sizes and the quantities I needed for the entire static wardrobe. Because for mercy’s sake, while I may be doing a static wardrobe, I am absolutely not doing laundry every day. I loathe laundry enough as it is. Let me also mention Plan B was much more cost effective than Anthro because the day I was shopping they were giving 30% off everything and 50% off some items (sigh … of course in my way I did not choose any 50% 0ff items). I was lightly bummed, however, when I got to the shipping page to see that overnight was $25 and 5 day was $3 but you could ship to the store in 6 days for free. Needless to say I opted for the $3 vintage. I would have to shift gears a little and start my adventure a few days later than I had hoped, and like any good diet, it is absolutely mind shattering and almost psychologically impossible to start mid-week. However, it did cross my mind that I would have a few more days for my fashion binge. Rationalization is a beautiful thing among my small army of stall tactics on starting a diet, after all.
As I drove up my driveway from pre-school pick up the very next day, geared up for a few more days of fashion ecstasy, a medium size box was sitting on my door step. Could it be? The box was too big for the supplements and protein shakes I just ordered, too big for my skin care products, maybe Tim ordered something? The man loves online shopping. I part the car super quick, instruct #3 via an over the shoulder shout to get out and don’t forget his backpack while I am running at a breakneck pace to the front door. Relief! My dreams came true: it was a J Crew box. God does want me to start Monday. Wait, what? Change of plans again – I can in fact start on the customary day off the week, the rule follower in me was thrilled, the fashion maven in me was crushed and I had not even decided on my shoes yet. Deep exhale. Then my preschooler runs up and crashes the party in my head with “Mommy is that for me, you know my Birthday is in May.” Oh right, this whole static wardrobe experiment is going to overlap his birthday and I won’t get to spend hours finding the perfect outfit for his party (double sigh). Let’s look on the bright side: I just found more hours I can use, for more productive/less vain things than the perfect party outfit. And banker husband will be happy I am not shelling out the extra dough.
Shoes, glorious shoes … one of my ultimate favorite fashion accessories. When Tim and I got married, I had a small country house that housed my shoe collection. Much to my chagrin, when we were moving and prepping the house to sell, we had a garage sale and advertised designer shoes and clothes. Turnout was maybe better than expected and in the end between the very excited bargain shoppers and the waiting black hole of the donations dumpster in the grocery parking lot, by the end of that weekend I had reduced my collection by a grand total of 168 pairs of shoes (not a typo). I consoled myself with the fact that I was still the proud owner of about 75 more, and those were my favorites. I was not Imelda, but left to my own devices, it could have happened. These days I am on a get-one/get-rid-of-one policy and my collection hovers around 50.
I did go shoe shopping today, with my preschooler in tow, bribing him with frozen yogurt if he let me get my shopping done. I thought it would be super quick because I had the exact rose gold Birkenstocks already picked out. But yikes, the store was packed and they did not have my size. Time to shift again because I was on a mission for shoes to ensure a Monday start. I grabbed a few other second choice items on the Birks and ughh those were sold out to…. my label snobbery was flaring up in my head as I scanned the many varieties of knockoff Birkenstocks for some sort of reputable brand, but they were all lesser in my head. So I tried on some Clarks, Mephisto and Naot … even Earth Brand. Nothing fit . Determined, I turned to the very helpful gentleman assisting me and said, “Listen, I know you are super busy today, but I am not leaving this store without a new pair of shoes, preferably Birkenstocks.” Meanwhile my son was interrupting and questioning the gentleman on why they did not have shoes in his size, particularly green crocs. The lady next in line behind us had a chuckle and mentioned his precocious behavior. Then the salesman reappeared with a pair of Birkenstocks (by that point I think he so wanted to just get the two of us out of the store). I did not really want black, which was all they had. I wanted a lighter color or flesh tone – it makes my tree trunks look thinner in flats. I did not have a lot of choices for sake of time, so they are black iridescent snake print. I let that slide; not totally boring, and wearing them for thirty days straight in the land of red clay, hopefully they will stay looking decent. So I walked out with a new pair of Birkenstocks as my new casual run around shoes
I only need a few more things: dressy shoes (I might pick from the existing collection for the sake of just doing it, but that’s like saying no to the sprinkles on your once-in-a-blue-moon sundae). And jewelry, but again on that one I think I will probably end up shopping my own collection.
Another part of my journey will be a closet sale. So stay tuned to shop my closet – shoes and hand bags will be included. (I might need counseling after all this is over)
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Here some of the outfits for my binge this week, some of my favorites: