Day 28: You know those days when everything you try to do ends in frustration and by the 4th or 5th attempt you’re about to pull your own hair out … or maybe someone else’s. You think, “well this will be simple and quick,” and it then balloons into a project that takes a week and a half to complete. That was Day 28.
I woke up in the morning to a bright sunny day, had everything planned out for a productive day. My static wardrobe was easy-peasey, even if my daughter was counting down the days until I was done. I planned to wear it all day and just change my shoes for an evening church meeting. My son is only in preschool for a few hours, so I have to make the most of that time – I always try to be among the first at drop-off so I can max out the in-between time for running errands, or whatever else is on the day’s to-do list. As I put my blinker on to pull into the school parking lot, blue flashing lights go on behind me. I scream “SNAAAAAAP!” My five year old is very concerned: “Mommy, what’s wrong?” We are getting pulled over by the police honey … don’t worry we are not in trouble, I know what is wrong.
Of course the humiliation of getting pulled over right in front of every parent in the preschool carpool line did not go over my head. I knew exactly why I got pulled over: my husband and I are notoriously slack with all things administrative, and for reasons unknown we had procrastinated on renewing our car registration. And to add insult to injury, I had not changed the address on my driver’s license from our move across town a year ago. The police officer comforted me by saying his computer was down and I could walk my son through the entire carpool line into school, because this would take a while. By this point I was in tears, and my sweet son is trying his best to comfort me as five year olds do: with your own words mirrored back to you. He looks up at me and says, “Mom, I know this is disappointing, but you just need to handle it.”
I took those words to heart and immediately drove to get an inspection, and what do you know, I failed the inspection because of 2 balding tires. If that wasn’t enough I go home to change my address online with the DMV and find out NC now requires a “Real ID.” In order to get that done I have to bring 4 pieces of identification as well as address certification to the DMV in person, otherwise I will have a big stamp across it that says “this is not a real ID.” Thanks NC, just another thing I have to do. In the meantime, I am going with the “not a real ID.” Just add more to the list. Long story short, it has taken two full weeks to resolve this, and that’s why I procrastinate on admin stuff: because it’s always such a freaking headache.
On the upside, I did not have to go home and change after adding at least 3 unplanned errands to my day. When I woke up I popped on my static wardrobe, rather than the typical mom-getting-by-for-the-carpool-line uniform of throwing on some old sweats and a tee shirt with no bra. That would have been even more of a nightmare, if I was wearing my at-home clothes and had to walk my son through the carpool line like that! I was already dressed so I did not have to layer on that extra element of embarrassment and ridicule. Thank you, static wardrobe! You really are becoming a comforting old friend to me. Reliable, easy, always there when you need it, and the majority of the time it doesn’t embarrass you.
Tip of the day: If you don’t have time, energy, or patience to put together a static wardrobe, at least have a presentable outfit ready to throw on in the mornings so that in the event need to run in to school for some impromptu reason, you would not be embarrassed by the risk of looking like the slacker mom. It’s your go-to outfit, almost like yoga pants but better: they look great. We don’t all get stopped by the cops at the carpool line, but we’ve all had that moment of “I should do this … but I can’t when I’m dressed like this … but then I’m a bad mom … what to do??” Static wardrobe has you ready for all of life’s crazy.
I am excited for just two more days of the static wardrobe, because I have my Rent the Runway all tee-d up and ready to go. Sadly, I still have not done the deep clean-out of my closet. The garbage bag method is starting to look good. But then I get one thing done and made another project for myself sorting out the garbage bags. It’s never ending. I am working on methods to stop the madness, stay tuned.